Support, Part 3: Responding to Anti-LGBT Language and Behavior

Anti-LGBT behavior comes in all shapes and sizes: biased language, name-calling, harassment and even physical assault.  GLSEN's National School Climate survey consistently finds that many LGBT students regularly hear homophobic slurs, such as "faggot" or "dyke," at school, and most students have been verbally or physically harassed in school.  Youth who regularly experience harassment can suffer from low self-esteem, high rates of absenteeism and low academic achievement.  Educators can make a difference by intervening in anti-LGBT name-calling, bullying and harassment every time they witness it.  Taking action when you see it occur can help create a safe space for all students.  Intervening on the spot will also serve as a teachable moment to let other students know that anti-LGBT behavior will not be tolerated.  One of the most effective things you can do as an ally is respond to anti-LGBT behavior.


HOW TO INTERVENE IN NAME-CALLING, BULLYING AND HARASSMENT

Follow these steps when you witness anti-LGBT name-calling, bullying or harassment.

1. Address Name-Calling, Bullying or Harassment Immediately.  Concentrate on stopping the behavior at that moment.  Sometimes it's a simple response to hearing a derogatory term, such as: "That language is unacceptable in this classroom."  Make sure that everyone can hear you.  Never miss the opportunity to interrupt the behavior.  Remember: inaction is in itself an action - if an incident is overlooked or not addressed, your silence can imply acceptance and approval.
2. Name the Behavior.  Describe what you saw and label the behavior.  "I heard you use the word faggot and that is derogatory and is considered name-calling.  That language is unacceptable."
3. Use the Teachable Moment (or Create One).  Make sure to educate after stopping the behavior.  Decide if you are going to educate in the moment or later, and if it will be done publicly or privately.  If you decide to educate later you will need to create the teachable moment.  You can then take this opportunity to teach one class, the entire grade or the whole school about language and behaviors that are acceptable and those that are not.
4. Support the Targeted Student.  Support the student who has been the target of the name-calling, bullying or harassment.  Do  not make assumptions about what the student is experiencing.  Ask the student what they need or want.  You will have to decide whether to do this in the moment or later, and if it will be done publicly or privately.  Suggest that the student visit with a counselor only if the student requests extra support.
5. Hold Students Accountable.  Check school policy and impose appropriate consequences.  Make sure disciplinary actions are evenly applied across all types of name-calling, bullying and harassment.

WHAT DO I SAY WHEN THEY SAY "THAT'S SO GAY"? RESPONDING TO UNINTENTIONAL ANTI-LGBT LANGUAGE

Almost all LGBT students regularly hear the word "gay" used in a negative way at school.  Though many downplay the impact of expressions like "that's so gay" because they have become such a common part of the vernacular and are often not intended to inflict harm, most LGBT students say that hearing "gay" or "queer" used in the negative manner causes them to feel bothered or distressed.  Especially because these expressions are so pervasive in our schools, it is critical that an ally treat this like all other types of anti-LGBT language and address it.

Not all students may understand why this language is offensive, so you may need to educate the students on why this is anti-LGBT language.  For example, as them why they would use "gay" to mean something is bad or boring.  Let them know that it is offensive and hurtful to LGBT people when they use "gay" to describe something as undesirable.  When challenged on using this type of language, a common response from students and adults is that they did not mean "gay" to mean "homosexual." They may say that it's just and expression and they don't mean any harm by it.  The chart below suggest some strategies for dealing with these types of responses, including the benefits and challenges of each strategy.

Fr public service announcements, lesson plans, discussion guides and other resources that address anti-LGBT language, visit http://www.ThinkB4YouSpeak.com/ForEducators

POSSIBLE RESPONSES TO "THAT'S SO GAY"

RESPONSES	BENEFITS	CHALLENGES
“What do you mean by that?”	Doesn’t dismiss it.	Students might not be forthcoming.
“How do you think a gay person might feel?”	Puts responsibility on the student to come up with the solution.	Student may not say anything.
“Do you say that as a compliment?”	Asking this rhetorical question in a non-accusatory tone may lighten things up enough for your student to shake their heads and admit, “No.”	Students may just laugh off your question, or reiterate that they’re “Just joking.”
“So the connotations are negative?” or “So maybe it’s not a good thing?”	Not accusatory.  Could open up the floor for discussion.	There’s always the chance that students will still be reluctant to speak up.