What Can I Say to Make an Impact with my Principal or Administrator?

Advocating for changes in your school will undoubtedly lead to a conversation with your principal or administrator.  Administrators are notoriously busy people - you'll likely only have a few minutes to get your point across and make and impression.  You want to make sure you give your administrator information that will motivate them to take action and support your efforts as an ally.  Here are some tips for making the most out of those few minutes.

BE DIRECT

Let them know exactly what you're there for.  "I'm here today to talk to you about the need to make our school a safe space for all students, regardless of sexual orientation, gender identity or gender expression."  Let them know that you are an ally to LGBT students, and there are some changes that can be made in the school to help LGBT students feel included and safe.

SHOW THEM WHY THE CHANGE IS NECESSARY

"I think there is a need for a comprehensive anti-bullying/harassment policy (or a training for all staff, a change in the Internet filter software, etc.) in the school because..."  Use statistics from GLSEN's National School Climate Survey or results from your Local School Climate Survey to inform your principal or administrator about the prevalence of anti-LGBT behavior in schools and its effects on LGBT students.  If possible, use statistics from a GLSEN Resesarch Brief for your specific state (see http://www.glsen.org/research) or the Local School Climate Survey you have conducted in your school.  Give them brief descriptions of the anti-LGBT behavior you have personally witnessed in the school.

PUT THE FOCUS ON SAFETY

All school administrators have a responsibility to make sure their schools are safe, both physically and emotionally, for the students who attend them.  "as you can see from these statistics (or incidents, stories, etc.) the climate in the school is having an effect on the comfort, safety, and sense of belonging amongst many of the students."  Point out to them the negative effects that anti-LGBT behavior has not only on LGBT students, but all students.

SHOW THEM HOW THE SCHOOL COMMUNITY WILL BENEFIT FROM THE CHANGE

"These actions will help make our school a safer and friendlier place for all students, regardless of sexual orientation, gender identity or gender expression."  Provide information on how this change can result in a more positive school climate and imrpove student achievement.  For example, share research from GLSEN's National School Climate Survey about the benefits of having supportive school staff or a comprehensive anti-bullying/harassment policy.

GIVE AN OVERVIEW OF HOW EDUCATORS CAN BE ALLIES TO LGBT STUDENTS AND THE CHANGES THE SCHOOL CAN MAKE

Briefly share with them specific ways educators can be supportive allies to LGBT students, such as intervening when anti-LGBT behavior occurs, not assuming the sexual orientation or gender identity of their students (or their parents) and including LGBT people, history and events in their curriculum.  Briefly share with them specific changes that will make your school safer.  Use concrete examples, like starting a GSA or making the schools anti-bullying policies inclusive of sexual orientation, gender identity and gender expression.

LEAVE INFORMATION AND SCHEDULE A FOLLOW-UP MEETING

Photocopy or print key information from Guide to Being an Ally and leave copies with your principal or administrator.  Leave the information that you think will get them to support your efforts.  If possible, try to secure some future time to further discuss the issue.  Give the principal or administrator time to learn more and digest the information before continuing the discusson.

Advocate, Part 3: Promote Non-Discriminator Policies and Practices

 Homophobia, transphobia and heterosexism can manifest themselves in school policies and practices, creating an unwelcoming, unsafe and hostile environment for LGBT students.  Policies and practices that exclude LGBT students, or force them to conform to what is considered by others as "normal", can alienate LGBT students from the school community.  There are many ways to make your school's policies and practices LGBT-inclusive.

SPORTS ACTIVITIES

Work with school coaches and physical education teachers to combat anti-LGBT language among students and staff, respond when anti-LGBT behavior occurs and create a safe environment within school athletics for LGBT students.  Homophobia and heterosexism are often heavily present on the fields, in the gym, in locker rooms and at sporting events, and sports activities can be some of the most unwelcoming school programs for LGBT students.  Some LGBT students, rather than risk facing harassment or assault, choose to avoid the athletics program altogether.  Those LGBT athletes that do participate may learn to feel shame and self-hatred, and hide their identities at great psychological cost.


SCHOOL UNIFORMS AND DRESS CODES

Work to ensure that school uniforms or dress codes are gender-neutral, with the same set of rules and expectations for all students, regardless of gender.  School uniforms and dress codes that require students to wear clothing deemed appropriate for their gender can restrict students' gender identity and gender expression, resulting in students feeling uncomfortable or unwelcome in their own school community.

SCHOOL EVENTS

Work to ensure that school events are inclusive of same-gender and gender-non-conforming couples.  School events, such as proms, that limit student's guest/date choices to those of another gender can make students feel excluded and unwelcome.  For example, if a prom limits a student's guest choices to someone of another gender, it may make students feel excluded and unwelcome.  This may particularly be a problem in cases when they are explicitly told they cannot bring their same-gender guest or are refused entry because of their guest's gender.


SCHOOL LIBRARIES

Work with school librarians to include LGBT-theme literature in the school library collection.  Use GLSEN's BookLink (at http://www.glsen.org/educator), an online list of recommended books and video resources, to find grade-appropriate literature for your school library.  School libraries are a wealth of information and con provide students with literature on many topics, including multicultural literature.  Farr too often, however, even multicultural literature excludes LGBT people and history.  Imagine being in your school library full of books about all peoples, except people like you.  Leaving out LGBT people, history and events in the library can contribute to LGBT students feeling excluded from their school.

INTERNET FILTERS

Work with your school administrators to ensure that the internet filters are not impeding students from finding positive and helpful information about the LGBT community.  Internet filters are often used in schools to block materials harmful to students, such as violent or pornographic sites, but they sometimes can block useful and necessary information.  Students may be denied access to websites that have valuable LGBT-related resources, such as research, historical facts or support services for LGBT youth.  And in some cases, students my be blocked from positive information but still have access to site condemning LGBT people.

SNAPSHOT - ANTI-LGBT BIAS IN SCHOOL

Vincent was an out, gay-identified senior at his town's only high school.  Although he had occasionally experienced anti-gay name-calling and bullying in the school, he was well-liked and felt fairly comfortable at school.  The senior prom was approaching and Vincent was worried that he wouldn't be allowed to bring his boyfriend and enjoy the special night with his fellow students.  Vincent approached one of the teachers on the prom committee with his concerns.  She promised Vincent that there wouldn't be a problem.  After spending hours preparing and getting read for the prom, Vincent and his boyfriend were rudely told they would not be allowed in the prom on the grounds that all couples needed to be of the opposite sex, and that they should take their "offensive lifestyle" somewhere else.

Advocate, Part 2: Implement Comprehensive Anti-Bullying/Harassment Policies

One major step that school can take to affirm their support for all students' safety is the implementation and enforcement of anti-bullying or harassment policies, also known as safe school policies.  These policies can promote a better school climate for LGBT student when sexual orientation, gender identity and gender expression are explicitly listed as protected categories.  School official may not recognize that anti-LGBT harassment and bullying are unacceptable behaviors, or may not respond to the problem due to prejudice or community pressure without the cover of a specific policy.  Comprehensive policies that specifically enumerate sexual orientation, gender identity and gender expression as protected characteristics remove all doubt that LGBT students, and all students, are protected from anti-LGBT bullying and harassment in school.

Some argue that generic anti-bullying/harassment policies without enumerated cateogries are just as effective as comprehensive ones.  Students' experiences indicate otherwise.  LGBT students from schools with a generic policy experience similar harassment level as students from schools with no policies at all, whereas students from school with comprehensive policy that includes sexual orientation, gender identity and gender expression report a less hostile and more supportive school climate.

As an ally, you should find out wheter your school or school district has a comprehensive anti-bullying/harassment policy that includes protections based on sexual orientation, gender identity and gender expression.  If it does not, advocate for your principal, school board or district administration to adopt one that does.

If your school already has a comprehensive policy, be sure that all members of the school community are regularly notified of the policy.  Often times, a policy may exist but students are not aware of it and may not know that they are protected.  If students are not aware of the policy or how to report incidents of bullying or harassment, then the policy will not be effective.

For more information about safe school laws and policies, including a model school district policy, visit http://www.glsen.org/policy.

Advocate, Part 1: Assess Your School

A key role of an ally is to use the power and influence they have as an educator to advocate for the rights of LGBT students and ensure safe schools for all.  In this section, we discuss three measures that you can advocate for in your school:

• Assessment of your school's climate, policies and practices.
• Implementation of comprehensive anti-bullying/harassment policies.
• Promotion of non-discriminatory policies and practices.

This section will also provide some tips for how to talk to your principal, district administration or school board to advocate for these measures.

ASSESS YOUR SCHOOL

The first step in advocating for changes in your school is assessing the current state of your school.  This will help you focus your efforts and identify areas for improvement.  You can examine your school in-depth by learning about people's experiences in your school and examining your school's existing policies, practices and resources.

ASSESS YOUR SCHOOL'S CLIMATE

One of the first steps to changing your school is learning about the experiences of members of your school community.  You can do this by surveying members of your school community - students, staff and parents.  Your survey should include questions that ask about the frequency of biased language, harassment and assault, as well as the level of intervention by educators.  GLSEN has a tool, the Local School Climate Survey (LSCS), which was designed to help educators and community members conduct a survey to assess the climate of their school or community.  Conducting the LSCS can give you detailed data to use when advocating for changes.  There are two versions of the LSCS, one to be conducted in a single school and one to be conducted with several schools or a community.  The LSCS provides you with a sample participant letter, tips for conducting a LSCS and survey form.  All materials can be downloaded at http://www.glsen.org/lscs.


ASSESS YOUR SCHOOL'S POLICIES AND PRACTICES

Understanding to what degree your school is inclusive of LGBT students, families and issues is key to creating a plan of action to ensure that your school is safe and welcoming for all students. 

Educate, Part 3: Engage School Staff

Creating safe schools for all students, regardless of sexual orientation, gender identity or gender expression can be a difficult task.  There is no reason to go it alone - help other educators become supportive allies for LGBT students.  Here are some simple ways you can share your commitment to ensure safe schools and your knowledge about the issues with other educators.

BE A ROLE MODEL FOR OTHER EDUCATORS

Let your actions as an ally inform others.  Use the appropriate terms - such as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, questioning, queer or LGBT - and correct people when you hear incorrect or derogatory language.  Use gender-neutral pronouns and LGBT-inclusive language in school.  Intervene when anti-LGBT behavior occurs and show other educators how to advocate for change within the school.


DISCUSS WITH OTHERS

In the hallways, during lunch or whenever you have a moment, share information with other educators.  Tell them about experiences of LGBT students in school, some of the anti-LGBT behavior incidents you have responded to or about the changes in the school you would like to see.  Letting other educators know about the concrete things they can do may help make being an ally a realistic option for them.  For more ideas, talk with fellow educators about how they are including LGBT people, history and events in their curriculum.  To learn what others are doing and share your own ideas, join the Educator Allies Network, GLSEN's social networking site for K-12 educators, at http://edallies.ning.com.


DISTRIBUTE INFORMATION

Select posts from this guide (e.g. Responding to Anti-LGBT Language and Behavior or When a Student Comes Out to You) and give them to school staff at meetings, post them in a staff lounge or put them in the mailboxes of all staff.  This will provide a non-threatening opportunity for other educators to learn about the issues and what they can do to make a difference.

ADVOCATE FOR STAFF TRAINING

Work with your principal or administrator to obtain training for staff on the school experiences of LGBT student and anti-LGBT bullying and harassment.  Find community organizations that can provide training resources to your school, such as an LGBT community center or a local GLSEN chapter.

GIVE A PRESENTATION TO SCHOOL STAFF

If possible, secure some time during a school staff meeting to discuss the issue of anti-LGBT name-calling, bullying and harassment.  Provide staff with information about the problem and ideas for how to handle it. 

Educate, Part 2: Make Your Curriculum Inclusive

 Harvey Milk - the first openly gay man to be elected to public office in California.

An LGBT-inclusive curriculum that provides positive representations of LGBT people, history and events helps to create a tone of acceptance of LGBT people and increase awareness of LGBT-related issues, resulting in a more supportive environment for LGBT students.  GLSEN's National School Climate Survey consistently finds that students with inclusive curricula have a greater sense of belonging to their school community, hear fewer homophobic remarks and are less likely to be victimized or feel unsafe at school than those without inclusive curriculum.

There are many ways to include positive representations of LGBT people, history and events in your curriculum.  Here are a few suggestions.

Only one-tenth of LGBT students were exposed to positive representations of LGBT people, history or events in their classes.  Additionally, less than a fifth of LGBT students reported that LGBT-related topics were included in their textbooks or other assigned readings. -2007 National School Climate Survey

INCLUDE LGBT HISTORY

Raise the visibility of LGBT people and communities by providing students with concrete examples of LGBT people in history and LGBT-related historical events.  For example, when teaching about the Holocaust or about civil rights movements , be sure to include the persecution, struggles and successes of the LGBT community.  You can show documentary films, such as Out of the Past or Gay Pioneers, or you can use GLSEN's When Did It Happen: LGBT History Lesson to teach about important leaders and events in LGBT history.  For resources, visit http://www.glsen.org/educator.

INCLUDE DIVERSE FAMILIES

Whenever possible include examples of diverse families, including same-sex couples and LGBT parents, while referencing families in the classroom.  Providing students with these examples can help LGBT students and students with LGBT family members to feel included in the classroom.

USE LGBT-INCLUSIVE LITERATURE

It is important for students to see themselves reflected in the school curriculum.  Using LGBT-inclusive literature will help to create a welcoming space for LGBT students, as well as promote respect and acceptance among all students.  Be sure to use books that feature positive and diverse representation of LGBT characters.  You can use GLSEN's BookLink (an online resource featuring LGBT-themed and LGBT-inclusive books organized by grade level) to find appropriate books for your curriculum.

CELEBRATE LGBT EVENTS

Celebrating LGBT events can help LGBT students feel included in the school.  Promote LGBT events throughout the school as you would any other cultural celebration.  Celebrate LGBT History Month in October or LGBT Pride Month in June by displaying signs, alerting students and recognizing the struggles, contributions and victories of the LGBT community.

Educate, Part 1: Teach Respect

 As an ally you have the opportunity to educate about anti-LGBT bias, it effects and ways to combat in order to create safer, more welcoming school environments.  This three part section will cover:

• Teach students to respect others.
• Include positive representations of LGBT people, history and events into your curriculum.
• Engage other staff about anti-LGBT bias and ways to create safer schools.

TEACH RESPECT

There are many ways to teach students the importance of respecting all people, regardless of their sexual orientation, gender identity or gender expression.  You school could implement a comprehensive school-wide program like GLSEN's No Name-Calling Week.  Or, you may incorporate individual lessons into your curriculum or group activities.  Here are a few resources that educators can use to teach respect and prevent harassment and bulling among students.


"It's amazing how enthralled students will get when there are actual people they can connect with, representing the issues around diversity, discrimination, etc." -School Counselor Ohio

NO NAME-CALLING WEEK LESSON PLANS

No Name-Calling Week is an annual week of educational activities aimed at ending name-calling of all kinds and providing schools with the tools and inspiration to launch an ongoing dialogue about ways to eliminate bullying in their communities.  Nevertheless, the accompanying lesson plans are available year-round and can be used at any time.  For information about program and free elementary and secondary-level plans visit: http://www.nonamecallingweek.org.

THINKB4YOUSPEAK EDUCATOR'S GUIDE

GLSEN has created an educator's guide to accompany its public service awareness campaign, created in partnership with the Ad Council, about the hurtful and demeaning term "that's so gay." The guide assists middle and high school educators in facilitating student learning about the negative consequences of homophobic language and anti-LGBT bullying.  The core of the guide consists of six educational activities that increase awareness and knowledge of the issues, develop skills for addressing them and promote social action.  Each lesson and activity can be used on its own or in conjunction with the others.  To download the free guide, visit: http://www.ThinkB4YouSpeak.com/ForEducators.

Support, Part 4: Support Student Clubs

 For many LGBT students, student clubs that address LGBT student issues (commonly called Gay-Straight Alliances or GSAs) offer critical support.  These clubs are student-led, usually at the high school or middle school level, and work to address anti-LGBT name-calling, bullying and harassment in their schools and promote respect for all students.  The existence of these clubs can make schools feel safer and more welcoming for LGBT students.  GLSEN's National School Climate Survey has found compared to LGBT students without a GSA, students in schools with a GSA or similar student club:

• Reported hearing fewer homophobic remarks;
• Experienced less harassment and assault because of their sexual orientation and/or gender expression;
• Were more likely to report incidents of harassment and assault;
• Were less likely to feel unsafe because of their sexual orientation or gender expression;
• Were less likely to miss school because of safety concerns, and
• Reported a greater sense of belonging to their school community.

"Only slightly more than a third (36.3%) of LGBT students reported having a Gay-Straight Alliance (GSA) or similar student club at their school." -2007 National School Climate Survey


GSAs, like all student clubs, must have a faculty advisor.  Serving as the advisor for your school's GSA is one important way that you can be an ally to LGBT students.  Not only does being an advisor allow you to help the efforts of your GSA, it makes you more visible as an ally to all members of your school community, making it easier for LGBT students to identify supportive school staff.

As an ally, you may also need to advocate for the rights of students to establish a GSA in their school.  Although some opponents of GSAs have attempted to restrict the existence of or access to these clubs, the federal Equal Access Act of 1984 requires public schools to allow GSAs to exist alongside other non-curricular student clubs.

For information about starting a GSA or GSA activities, download GLSEN's Jump-Start Guide for Gay-Straight Alliances at: www.glsen.org/jumpstart.

PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER: DOs AND DON'Ts OF BEING AN ALLY TO LGBT STUDENTS

DO…	DON’T…
Listen.  One of the simplest yet most important ways to be an ally is to listen.  Like all students, LGBT students need to feel comfortable expressing themselves.  If a student comes to talk to you about being harassed, feeling excluded or just about their life in general, keep in mind that you may be the only person they feel safe speaking to.  Be there to listen.	Think you have all the answers.  Do not feel that you must always have the answers.  If you are faced with a problem you don’t know how to solve, let the student know you will look into the subject to try to find an answer.  Sometimes the best thing for you to do is to refer the student to an outside source that may be able to help them.
Respect confidentiality.  Effective allies will respect their students’ confidentiality and privacy.  Someone who is coming out may not want everyone to know.  Assume that the person only to you and just wants you to know, unless they indicate otherwise.  Informing others can create an unsafe environment for the student.	Make unrealistic promises.  Be careful not to promise something you may not be able to deliver.  This can damage the relationship you have with the student as an ally.
Be conscious of your biases.  Effective allies acknowledge how homophobia, transphobia and heterosexism may affect their efforts to be an ally to LGBT people.  They continuously work to recognize and challenge their own biases.	Make assumptions.  It is important to avoid making assumptions and perpetuating stereotypes.  These can be extremely offensive and may turn a student away from you.  It is also important to avoid assuming you know what the student needs.  Be sure to listen to you student and ask how you can support them.
Seek out knowledge.  Effective allies periodically brush up on LGBT-related language and current issues facing the LGBT community.
Be a resource.  An effective ally will also know when how to refer students to outside help.

ASK YOURSELF

• Which of these strategies are you most likely to use in your school?
• Are there other strategies that you have used when intervening in anti-LGBT language, harassment and bullying in your school?

Support, Part 3: Responding to Anti-LGBT Language and Behavior

Anti-LGBT behavior comes in all shapes and sizes: biased language, name-calling, harassment and even physical assault.  GLSEN's National School Climate survey consistently finds that many LGBT students regularly hear homophobic slurs, such as "faggot" or "dyke," at school, and most students have been verbally or physically harassed in school.  Youth who regularly experience harassment can suffer from low self-esteem, high rates of absenteeism and low academic achievement.  Educators can make a difference by intervening in anti-LGBT name-calling, bullying and harassment every time they witness it.  Taking action when you see it occur can help create a safe space for all students.  Intervening on the spot will also serve as a teachable moment to let other students know that anti-LGBT behavior will not be tolerated.  One of the most effective things you can do as an ally is respond to anti-LGBT behavior.


HOW TO INTERVENE IN NAME-CALLING, BULLYING AND HARASSMENT

Follow these steps when you witness anti-LGBT name-calling, bullying or harassment.

1. Address Name-Calling, Bullying or Harassment Immediately.  Concentrate on stopping the behavior at that moment.  Sometimes it's a simple response to hearing a derogatory term, such as: "That language is unacceptable in this classroom."  Make sure that everyone can hear you.  Never miss the opportunity to interrupt the behavior.  Remember: inaction is in itself an action - if an incident is overlooked or not addressed, your silence can imply acceptance and approval.
2. Name the Behavior.  Describe what you saw and label the behavior.  "I heard you use the word faggot and that is derogatory and is considered name-calling.  That language is unacceptable."
3. Use the Teachable Moment (or Create One).  Make sure to educate after stopping the behavior.  Decide if you are going to educate in the moment or later, and if it will be done publicly or privately.  If you decide to educate later you will need to create the teachable moment.  You can then take this opportunity to teach one class, the entire grade or the whole school about language and behaviors that are acceptable and those that are not.
4. Support the Targeted Student.  Support the student who has been the target of the name-calling, bullying or harassment.  Do  not make assumptions about what the student is experiencing.  Ask the student what they need or want.  You will have to decide whether to do this in the moment or later, and if it will be done publicly or privately.  Suggest that the student visit with a counselor only if the student requests extra support.
5. Hold Students Accountable.  Check school policy and impose appropriate consequences.  Make sure disciplinary actions are evenly applied across all types of name-calling, bullying and harassment.

WHAT DO I SAY WHEN THEY SAY "THAT'S SO GAY"? RESPONDING TO UNINTENTIONAL ANTI-LGBT LANGUAGE

Almost all LGBT students regularly hear the word "gay" used in a negative way at school.  Though many downplay the impact of expressions like "that's so gay" because they have become such a common part of the vernacular and are often not intended to inflict harm, most LGBT students say that hearing "gay" or "queer" used in the negative manner causes them to feel bothered or distressed.  Especially because these expressions are so pervasive in our schools, it is critical that an ally treat this like all other types of anti-LGBT language and address it.

Not all students may understand why this language is offensive, so you may need to educate the students on why this is anti-LGBT language.  For example, as them why they would use "gay" to mean something is bad or boring.  Let them know that it is offensive and hurtful to LGBT people when they use "gay" to describe something as undesirable.  When challenged on using this type of language, a common response from students and adults is that they did not mean "gay" to mean "homosexual." They may say that it's just and expression and they don't mean any harm by it.  The chart below suggest some strategies for dealing with these types of responses, including the benefits and challenges of each strategy.

Fr public service announcements, lesson plans, discussion guides and other resources that address anti-LGBT language, visit http://www.ThinkB4YouSpeak.com/ForEducators

POSSIBLE RESPONSES TO "THAT'S SO GAY"

RESPONSES	BENEFITS	CHALLENGES
“What do you mean by that?”	Doesn’t dismiss it.	Students might not be forthcoming.
“How do you think a gay person might feel?”	Puts responsibility on the student to come up with the solution.	Student may not say anything.
“Do you say that as a compliment?”	Asking this rhetorical question in a non-accusatory tone may lighten things up enough for your student to shake their heads and admit, “No.”	Students may just laugh off your question, or reiterate that they’re “Just joking.”
“So the connotations are negative?” or “So maybe it’s not a good thing?”	Not accusatory.  Could open up the floor for discussion.	There’s always the chance that students will still be reluctant to speak up.

Support, Part 2: Supporting Students When They Come Out

As an ally, LGBT students may come to you for support, comfort or guidance.  You may encounter a situation where a student comes out or reveals their sexual orientation or gender identity to you.  You may be the first or only person an LGBT student comes out to.  It is important that you support the student in a constructive way.  Keep in mind that the student may be completely comfortable with their sexual orientation and may not need help dealing with it, or may not be in need of any support.  It may be that the student just wanted to tell someone, or just simply to tell you so you might know them better.  Below you will find some information on the coming out process and how you can be a supportive ally when students come out to you.

WHAT DOES "COMING OUT" MEAN?

Simply put, coming out is a means to publicly declare one's identity, whether to a person in private or a group of people.  In our society most people are generally presumed to be heterosexual, so there is usually no need for a heterosexual person to make a statement to others that discloses their sexual orientation.  Similarly, most people feel that their current gender is aligned with their sex assigned at birth, therefore never having a need to disclose their gender identity.  However, a person who is LGBT must decide whether or not to reveal to others their sexual orientation or gender identity.

To come out is to take a risk by sharing one's identity, sometimes to one person in conversation, sometimes to a group or in a public setting.  The actual act of coming out can be as simple as saying "I'm gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgender," but it can be a difficult and emotional process for an LGBT student to go through, which is why it is so important for a student to have support.  One positive aspect of coming out is not having to hide who you are anymore.  However, there can be dangers that come with revealing yourself.  A student who comes out may be open to more anti-LGBT name-calling, bullying and harassment, yet they may also feel more comfortable and free to be themselves.  One of the most important things you as an ally can do for an LGBT student is to be there for them in a safe, respectful and helpful way.

SNAP SHOT - Anti-LGBT Bias in School

Renisha was a 15-year -old freshman who had just started at the school where her older brother Michael was a junior.  Renisha decided that at this new school, she was going to be herself and not hide that she's a lesbian as she did in junior high.  Michael's friends had begun to make fun of his little sister and Michael always defended her, telling his friends "leave her alone, she's just being herself."  Michael's friends continued to tease Renisha calling her "dyke" from across the lunchroom and defacing her locker with anti-LGBT language.  Michael decided that this had gone too far and demanded his friends leave his little sister alone.  One of his friends started to tease Michael, asking him if "being queer runs in the family."  The words had barely made it out of the boy's mouth before Michael punched him.  The other friends backed off and stopped the teasing, but Michael was suspended from school for a week and kicked off the basketball team for fighting.

SHOULD SCHOOL STAFF BE CAREFUL ABOUT DISCLOSING A STUDENT'S SEXUAL ORIENTATION OR GENDER IDENTITY TO OTHERS?

"Reporting causes more problems.  Teachers and staff do not know how to handle the problem anonymously." -Student, Grade Not Reported, Texas

Absolutely.  School staff must at all times be cognizant of the highly sensitive nature of information regarding a students sexual orientation and gender identity.  School staff must exercise the utmost discretion and professionalism and be respectful of student privacy in discussing these matters.

In contrast to coming out, when a person chooses to disclose their sexual orientation or gender identity, "outing" occurs when someone else tells others that a particular individual is LGBT without that person's permission.  We often don't know what someone's beliefs are or reactions might be, and outing someone may have large repercussions for students.  Although it may be hard to believe, there are students whose emotional and physical safety were jeopardized when school staff outed them to other students and even family members.

WHEN A STUDENT COMES OUT TO YOU...AND TELLS YOU THEY ARE LESBIAN, GAY, BISEXUAL OR TRANSGENDER

When a student comes out to you and tell you they are lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender (LGBT), your initial response is important.  The student has likely spent time in advance thinking about whether or not to tell you, and when and how to tell you.  Here are some tips to help you support them.

Offer support but don't assume a student needs any help.  The student may be completely comfortable with their sexual orientation or gender identity and may not need help dealing with it or be in need of any support.  It may be that the student just wanted to tell someone, or just simply to tell you so you might know them better.  Offer and be available to support your students as they come out to others.

Be a role model of acceptance.  Always model good behavior by using inclusive language and setting an accepting environment by not making assumptions about people's sexual orientation or gender identity, and by addressing other's (adults and students) biased language and addressing stereotypes and myths about LGBT people.  By demonstrating that you are respectful of LGBT people and intolerant of homophobia and transphobia, LGBT students are more likely to see you as a supportive educator.

Appreciate the student's courage.  There is often a risk in telling someone something personal, especially sharing for the first time one's sexual orientation or gender identity, when it is generally not considered the norm.  Consider someone's coming out a gift and thank them for giving that gift to you.  Sharing this personal information with you means that the student respects and trusts you.

Listen, listen, listen.  One of the best ways to support a student is to hear them out and let the student know you are there to listen.  Coming out is a long process, and chances are you'll be approached again to discuss this process, the challenges and the joys of being out at school.

Assure and respect confidentiality.  The student told you and may or may not be ready to tell others.  Let the student know that the conversation is confidential and that you won't share the information with anyone else, unless they ask for your help.  If they want others to know, doing it in their own way with their own timing is important.  Respect their privacy.

Ask questions that demonstrate understanding, acceptance and compassion.  Some suggestions are:

• Have you been able to tell anyone else?
• Has this been a secret you have had to keep from others or have you told other people?
• Do you feel safe in school? Supported by the adults in your life?
• Do you need any help of any kind? Resources or someone to listen?
• Have I ever offended you unknowingly?

 Remember that the student has not changed.  They are still the same person you know before the disclosure; you just have more information about them, which might improve your relationship.  Let the student know that you feel the same way about them as you always have and that they are still the same person.  If you are shocked, try not to let the surprise lead you to view or treat the student any differently.

Challenge traditional norms.  You may need to consider your own beliefs about sexual orientation, gender identity and gender roles.  Do not expect people to conform to societal norms about gender or sexual orientation.

Be prepared to give a referral.  If there are questions you can't answer, or if the student does need some emotional support, be prepared to refer them to a sympathetic counselor, a hotline, your school's GSA or an LGBT youth group or community center.

SOME ADDITIONAL THINGS TO KEEP IN MIND WHEN A STUDENT COMES OUT TO YOU AS TRANSGENDER

Validate the person's gender identity and expression.  It is important to use the pronoun appropriate to gender presented or that the person requests - this is showing respect.  In other words, if someone identifies as female, then refer to the person as "she"; if they identify as male, refer to the person as "he." Or use gender neutral language.  Never use the word "it" when referring to a person, to do so is insulting and disrespectful.

Remember that gender identity is separate from sexual orientation.  Knowing someone is transgender does not provide you with any information about their sexual orientation.

WHAT NOT TO SAY WHEN SOMEONE COMES OUT TO YOU

"I knew it!"  This makes the disclosure about you and not the student, and you might have been making an assumption based on stereotypes.

"Are you sure?", "You're just confused" or "It's just a phase - it will pass."  This suggests that students don't know who they are.

"You just haven't found a good woman yet" said to a male or "a good man yet" said to a female.  This assumes that everyone is straight or should be.

"Shhh, don't tell anyone."  This implies that there is something wrong and that being LGBT must be kept hidden.  If you have real reasons to believe that disclosing this information will cause the student harm, then make it clear that is your concern.  Say "Thanks for telling me. We should talk about how tolerant our school and community is.  You may want to consider how this may affect your decision about who to come out to."

"You can't be gay - you've had relationships with people of the opposite sex."  This refers only to behavior, while sexual orientation is about inner feelings.

Support, Part 1: Being Visible

One of the key ways to be an ally is to support LGBT students in your school.  In this post I will begin to describe the dos and don'ts of being an ally and over the course of the next four days will discuss four main ways you can be supportive:

• Being a visible ally
• Supporting students who come out to you
• Responding to anti-LGBT language and behaviors
• Supporting student clubs, such as Gay-Straight Alliances (GSA)

I will begin this four part series with being visible since one of the most important parts of being an ally to LGBT students is making yourself known as an ally.  In order to come to you for help, students need to be able to recognize you as an ally.  Even if students don't come to you directly, research shows that just knowing that there is a supportive educator at school can help LGBT students feel better about being in school.  Making yourself visible can be as simple as displaying a sticker.  It can also be demonstrating and modeling supportive behaviors.  Below you will find some suggestions of how to be a visible ally to LGBT students.

MAKE YOUR SPACE VISIBLE

Make your classroom or office visible as a safe space for LGBT students.  This will help students identify you as someone to come to for support and your space as one where they will be safe.

Post Safe Space materials. Display Safe Space stickers or posters in your classroom or office.  This will let students know that it is a safe space and that you are supportive of LGBT students.

Display LGBT supportive materials.  Post supportive materials such as quotes from famous LGBT icons, information about the LGBT community or materials from LGBT organizations.  Along with signs for national holidays and months of celebration already in the classroom (e.g. Black History Month or Women's History Month), display information about LGBT History Month in October, LGBT Pride Month in June or Ally Week in October.


MAKE YOURSELF VISIBLE

Making yourself visible as an ally will allow students to easily identify you as a supportive educator.

Wear a visible marker.  Wear a supportive button or wristband or even a simple rainbow bracelet.  These will let students know that you are a supportive ally without saying a word.

Let other educators know.  In an ideal world, all educators would be supportive allies to LGBT students.  But the reality is that you may be one of only a few at your school.  Let other educators know that you are an ally and share with them the important role they too can play in supporting LGBT students.


LET YOUR ACTIONS SPEAK FOR YOU

Sometimes your actions can speak louder than any button or poster.  Here are simple actions you can take that will let staff and students know you are an ally.

Make no assumptions.  When engaging with students, or even other staff and parents, do not assume you know their sexual orientation or gender identity.  Don't assume that everyone is heterosexual or fits into your idea of gender roles - be open to the variety of identities and expressions.  In our society, students constantly receive the message that everyone is suppose to be straight.  Show students that you understand that there is no one way a person "should" be.

Use inclusive language.  Through casual conversation and during classroom time, make sure the language you are using is inclusive of all people.  When referring to people in general, trying using words like "partner" instead of "boyfriend/girlfriend" or "husband/wife", and avoid gendered pronouns, using "they" instead of "he/she".  Using inclusive language will help LGBT students feel more comfortable being themselves and coming to you for support.

Respond to anti-LGBT behavior.  Responding to anti-LGBT behavior when it occurs or when you hear about it will let students know that you do not tolerate homophobia or transphobia.  It sends a strong message that anti-LGBT behavior is not acceptable to you and not allowed in your school.

Talking the Talk

"One of the greatest challenges we face on a daily basis is not what students do to one another.  In fact, sadly, it is what is said by some of my colleagues about the students." -Alternative High School Educator, Ohio

One simple yet important way to be an ally is to use LGBT-related terminology accurately and respectfully.  The best way to ensure that you are using the proper language when referring to an individual is to find out the terms they themselves prefer.

Language has a huge impact on the way that we see others and ourselves, and yet, language is constantly changing.  That is why it is important to familiarize yourself and keep up-to-date with LGBT-related terms and concepts.  Begin by completing the "Terminology Match-Up" below.

TERMINOLOGY MATCH-UP


How much LGBT-related terminology do you already know?  On the left is a set of LGBT-related terms, on the right are definitions of these terms.  To test your knowledge, select the matching definition for each term.

1.      Sexual Orientation 2.      Lesbian 3.      Gender Identity 4.      Gender Expression 5.      Transgender 6.      Gay 7.      Gender Non-Conforming 8.      Androgynous 9.      Bisexual 10.  Transphobia 11.  Homophobia 12.  Heterosexism 13.  Queer

A.    The irrational fear or aversion to transgender people or those who are perceived to break or blur societal norms regarding gender identity or gender expression. B.     The inner feelings of who we are attracted or oriented to sexually or emotionally. C.     Refers to an irrational fear of or aversion to homosexuality or lesbian, gay or bisexual people. D.    An identity of a person whose gender identity is not aligned with their sex assigned at birth and/or whose gender expression is non-conforming. E.     An individual’s physical characteristics, behaviors and presentation that are traditionally linked to either masculinity or femininity, such as: appearance, dress, mannerism, speech patterns and social interactions. F.      A sexual orientation and/or identity of a person who is female-identified and who is sexually and emotionally attracted to other females. G.    A sexual orientation and/or identity of a person who is sexually and emotionally attracted to males and females. H.    Applies to attitudes, bias and discrimination in favor of heterosexual sexuality and relationships.  It includes the presumption that everyone is heterosexual or that male/female attractions and relationships are the norm and therefore superior.  It is the belief that everyone is, or should be, straight. I.       A sexual orientation and/or identity of a person who is sexually and emotionally attracted to members of the same sex. J.       How we identify ourselves in term of our gender. K.    An identity of a person who has gender characteristics and/or behaviors that do not conform to traditional or societal gender expectations. L.     An umbrella term used to describe a sexual orientation, gender identity or gender expression that does not conform to heteronormative society. M.   Having the characteristics or nature of both maleness and femaleness; neither specifically feminine nor masculine.

Answer Key: B, F, J, E, D, I, K, M, G, A, C, H, L  

ASK YOURSELF

• Which terms were you most familiar with? Which were you unfamiliar with?
• What terms are you most comfortable using? Are there any terms you are uncomfortable using? Why?

Assessing Your Personal Beliefs

People aren't born prejudiced, so where do these sentiments come from?  From the moment we are born, we are inundated with messages, spoken and unspoken, about different types of people.  Often we learn stereotypes and prejudices without even realizing it.  Some of these messages may have been about ourselves and what we are or are not "supposed to" be.

All of us, LGBT and non-LGBT, have learned messages about LGBT people.  What were the earliest messages you received about LGBT people and where did they come from?  Were they positive, negative or neutral?  Understanding the messages we receive can help us identify our own beliefs and biases that we can then challenge, helping to make us stronger allies.  Use the "Check Yourself" exercise below to explore your own biases.

CHECK YOURSELF: UNDERSTANDING YOUR OWN BELIEFS

Anti-LGBT bias is all around us.  Yet we tend to overlook the subtle biases - the anti-LGBT jokes, the exclusion of LGBT related-themes in curricula, even anti-LGBT name calling.  Subtle or not, bias has the power to hurt and isolate people.  Your work as an ally includes recognizing and challenging your own anti-LGBT bias.  Answer each question honestly, and consider how these will affect your work as an ally to LGBT students.

1.      If someone were to come to you as LGBT, what would your first thought be?
 
2.      How would you feel if your child came out to you as LGBT? How would you feel if your mother, father or sibling came out to you as LGBT?
 
3.      Would you go to a physician whom you thought was LGBT if they were of a different gender than you?  What if they were the same gender as you?
 
4.      Have you ever been to an LGBT social event, march or worship service?  Why or why not?
 
5.      Can you think of three historical figures that were lesbian, gay or bisexual?
 
6.      Can you think of three historical figures who were transgender?
 
7.      Have you ever laughed at or made a joke at the expense of LGBT people?
 
8.      Have you ever stood up for and LGBT person being harassed?  Why or why not?
 
9.      If you do not identify as LGBT, how would you feel if people thought you were LGBT?

Recognizing your own biases is an important first step in becoming an ally.  Based on your responses to these questions, do you think you have internalized some of the anti-LGBT messages pervasive in our world?  How might your beliefs influence your actions as an educator of LGBT students?  The more aware we are of our own biases and their impact on our behavior, the easier it is to ensure that our personal beliefs don't undermine our efforts to support LGBT students.